Several times this year, my wife and I asked our daughter what she wanted for Christmas. "Nothing." she would reply, "Just a nice Christmas with decorations, music, and the party" (we host Christmas Eve at our house every year). For the past couple of months there have been no hints, no "I want", no "I need", no nothing. Even when going to Target, Jamie would opt for the books and music department to the toy area. While there's nothing wrong with that, it makes for interesting shopping. Especially for Santa at Christmas.
Jamie, almost 9, still believes in Santa. Most of her friends don't. I suspect this will be the last year for Jamie. Which makes me a little sad. As much as I love watching my daughter grow, it's also sad to put behind me those things that truly define the innocence childhood.
This year, though, Jamie observed that while it's nice her name is put on gifts for say, my wife from Jamie, she really didn't take a part in getting the gift. I was rather floored by this. There wasn't much I could say other than to promise to make her a part of the process next time. Something tells me that as the years go by I'll have a valuable resource in my daughter as it pertains to shopping for my wife. I'm no slouch, but a man buying for a woman is different than a woman buying for a woman. My wife has all the see through low cut tops she can use . . . for a while.
Anyway, once again, my daughter has reminded me about the importance of being a good parent, the importance of family, and of the importance of doing, giving, and sharing with the other people in your life. She's sick today with a fever, and I'm ready to do anything she wants to help her feel better. I couldn't be more proud of her.
BTW, Santa bought Jamie an iPod Nano for Christmas. It came loaded with several of her favorite artists and several new movies. It was a huge surprise. Perfect.
Thanks Santa. Merry Christmas everyone!
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Monday, August 04, 2008
Speaking of parenting
I'm not a big fan of laws that try to protect us from ourselves. Not only don't I need the government telling me what to do, I think most of us are smart enough to know how best to take care of ourself. Now, I know that isn't plainly obvious on many, many occasions. There exists plenty of evidence to the contrary. Well, I consider that thinning the herd.
I am in favor of laws that help protect kids from moron parents. Now, again, I know you can't force someone to use common sense. Be there laws or not, many people will simply going on being stupid.
Many Milwaukee kids improperly restrained in vehicles
One thing laws do, though, is allow for punishing those who are too stupid to take measures to protect their own children. Here's the thing, if I want to launch myself through the windshield of my car I should have the right to do so. But, as a parent, I make that decision for my child. A child who, up to a certain age, can't be held responsible to make an informed decision about various actions with regard to their safety. A child has no chance in an accident.
I agree awareness should be increased. I know it might be counter productive to fine those who can't afford a car seat for their child, but this is one of those things, as I mentioned in my previous post, is something a parent needs to take responsibility for.
I am in favor of laws that help protect kids from moron parents. Now, again, I know you can't force someone to use common sense. Be there laws or not, many people will simply going on being stupid.
Many Milwaukee kids improperly restrained in vehicles
One thing laws do, though, is allow for punishing those who are too stupid to take measures to protect their own children. Here's the thing, if I want to launch myself through the windshield of my car I should have the right to do so. But, as a parent, I make that decision for my child. A child who, up to a certain age, can't be held responsible to make an informed decision about various actions with regard to their safety. A child has no chance in an accident.
Nationally, car crashes are the leading cause of death of children over age 3.
I agree awareness should be increased. I know it might be counter productive to fine those who can't afford a car seat for their child, but this is one of those things, as I mentioned in my previous post, is something a parent needs to take responsibility for.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Ah, the decisions we make as parents
Whether it's letting a child sit in the front seat of a car unbuckled, letting them in a boat without a life jacket, or get on a skate board without any pads, we parents make important decisions about our children's actions to protect them. They're simply incapable of making those decisions themselves as they're ignorant of the consequences. This kid doesn't stand a chance:
With parents this stupid I doubt the kid will see 21. Reminds me of a great quote from Parenthood:
A couple can't agree on which gang their 4-year-old toddler should join.
A fight about the decision led to a public disturbance with the father's arrest. Joseph Manzanares went to the video store where his girlfriend worked, threatened to kill her and knocked over several video displays, police told KMGH Denver.
Police arrested Manzanares at his home, Commerce City police Sgt. Joe Sandoval told KMGH Denver.
The girlfriend told authorities they were fighting over which gang their son should join. The girlfriend, who is black, is a member of the Crips while Manzanares, who is Hispanic, belongs to the Westside Ballers.
"They have different ideas on how the baby should be raised," Sandoval said. "Basically, she said they cannot agree on which gang the baby would 'claim.'"
With parents this stupid I doubt the kid will see 21. Reminds me of a great quote from Parenthood:
Tod (Keeanu Reeves)
You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Good advice for parents 2
Kids: Open to Discussion
We all know it's important to talk with your kids. But how you do it may well be the key to their success.
By: Lybi Ma
Gabbing is good for kids. Researchers at the Emory University Center for Myth and Ritual in American Life studied the conversations of Atlanta-area families and came across some noteworthy findings. Parents who encourage their children to talk about feelings, like anger and sadness, were more likely to raise resilient kids.
The researchers took special note of family conversations concerning negative events such as a death. In these instances, kids struggled to understand what happened. When parents didn't shut them down, children felt accepted and acknowledged. More than that, these children also had better self-esteem and were more socially adept.
In discussing a negative event, people often recall things differently and they disagree on how the event unfolded. Yet it's a good thing that they have their different perspectives, because it gives children the chance to learn how to listen and be heard. In fact, when parents let each family member air his or her point of view, kids learn how to negotiate differences of opinion.
The bottom line is: Children who talk about their feelings are much better off. Here are a few tips to keep the lines of communication open:
Start early. Listen to your child when he is very young. If he learns as a child that you will drop everything and listen, he will continue to talk as he grows up.
Make yourself available—even if it's inconvenient for you. Children may want to talk at the end of the day when you're exhausted, but don't miss the chance to communicate.
Don't judge. A child will become defensive when he feels he is being judged. That's when communication stops.
Refrain from interrupting your child; let her talk even when you don't want to hear what she has to say.
If you ask a question, begin with the words like "tell me" or "how." This encourages a child to be specific and lessens the chance of her shutting down.
Don't get emotional; remain calm. If you have something to say, think beforehand.
If your child tells you something shocking, don't show it. Otherwise, she will stop talking for good.
Engage in activities together. Take a walk, run or go to the gym together. Or try a trip to the museum or cultural center.
Try a new restaurant and perhaps a new type of food. New experiences will help inspire discussion of all types.
Eat dinner together. Children who sit down at the family dinner table three to five times a week are less likely to smoke, drink, and take drugs than kids who dine on their own. They also have better grades and fewer emotional problems.
My wife and I encourage our daughter to talk about things. I'm sure most parents can tell when something is on their kids' mind. I encourage my daughter to open up, to trust me, to always know she can come to me, that the truth is best, and that she won't be judged. She may only be 8 years old, but trust and respect are very important to her, and us as well.
We all know it's important to talk with your kids. But how you do it may well be the key to their success.
By: Lybi Ma
Gabbing is good for kids. Researchers at the Emory University Center for Myth and Ritual in American Life studied the conversations of Atlanta-area families and came across some noteworthy findings. Parents who encourage their children to talk about feelings, like anger and sadness, were more likely to raise resilient kids.
The researchers took special note of family conversations concerning negative events such as a death. In these instances, kids struggled to understand what happened. When parents didn't shut them down, children felt accepted and acknowledged. More than that, these children also had better self-esteem and were more socially adept.
In discussing a negative event, people often recall things differently and they disagree on how the event unfolded. Yet it's a good thing that they have their different perspectives, because it gives children the chance to learn how to listen and be heard. In fact, when parents let each family member air his or her point of view, kids learn how to negotiate differences of opinion.
The bottom line is: Children who talk about their feelings are much better off. Here are a few tips to keep the lines of communication open:
Start early. Listen to your child when he is very young. If he learns as a child that you will drop everything and listen, he will continue to talk as he grows up.
Make yourself available—even if it's inconvenient for you. Children may want to talk at the end of the day when you're exhausted, but don't miss the chance to communicate.
Don't judge. A child will become defensive when he feels he is being judged. That's when communication stops.
Refrain from interrupting your child; let her talk even when you don't want to hear what she has to say.
If you ask a question, begin with the words like "tell me" or "how." This encourages a child to be specific and lessens the chance of her shutting down.
Don't get emotional; remain calm. If you have something to say, think beforehand.
If your child tells you something shocking, don't show it. Otherwise, she will stop talking for good.
Engage in activities together. Take a walk, run or go to the gym together. Or try a trip to the museum or cultural center.
Try a new restaurant and perhaps a new type of food. New experiences will help inspire discussion of all types.
Eat dinner together. Children who sit down at the family dinner table three to five times a week are less likely to smoke, drink, and take drugs than kids who dine on their own. They also have better grades and fewer emotional problems.
My wife and I encourage our daughter to talk about things. I'm sure most parents can tell when something is on their kids' mind. I encourage my daughter to open up, to trust me, to always know she can come to me, that the truth is best, and that she won't be judged. She may only be 8 years old, but trust and respect are very important to her, and us as well.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Role model parent
I'm a bit neutral on Libby Lu. On the one hand, girls like play dress up and Libby Lu allows girls that opportunity. It's over the top, but from what I've seen, harmless fun. I'm sure there are those girls with parents who "go too far" with the make up and attire, but I think the majority of parents see it and do it as a fun thing. For me, it's just over priced. But I wouldn't not allow my daughter to go to a party held there.
I do understand those who are concerned with image that Libby Lu is trying to create. Make up and little skirts on little girls? I've read some parents comments calling what they do "pedophile bait". I think that's a bit harsh. As for the image thing, this is one of those areas of responsibility held by the parents.
Recently, Libby Lu sponsored an essay contest for a chance to win a make over and Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana) tickets. A 6 year old from North Texas won the contest with an essay about her father dying in Iraq. It was obviously a moving essay as she beat out about 1,000 other entries to win. One problem, the story was a lie.
GARLAND, Texas - A North Texas mother made up a tragic story about a father dying in Iraq for an essay contest to win a Hannah Montana prize package.
But the company decided not to award Priscilla Ceballos' daughter with the contest's grand prize, Club Libby Lu CEO Mary Drolet said Saturday in a written statement.
"After awarding the grand prize, we unfortunately learned that the statements made in the essay were untrue," she said in the statement. "Club Libby Lu greatly values honestly and integrity. In order to uphold these values, we have decided to withdraw the award initially given to the Ceballos family."
On Friday, Ceballos told NBC 5 by telephone that it was a big misunderstanding. She said she made up the story to win the contest. No one asked her if the story was true, she said.
Her daughter had beat out more than 1,000 other Hannah Montana fans with the essay she wrote for the Club Libby Lu "Hannah Montana Rock Your Holidays Essay Contest."
"My daddy died this year in Iraq," the little girl wrote in the essay. "I am going to give mommy the Angel pendant that daddy put on mommy when she was having me. I had it in my jewelry box since that day. I love my mommy."
Ceballos told contest organizers her husband was killed April 17, 2007, while serving in Iraq.
Research done by NBC 5 revealed that only one U.S. soldier died on April 17 of this year, and it was not Jonathan Menjivar. Neighbors said the girl's father, a carpet cleaner, is alive and is not a soldier.
The mother's sister said the story was intended to be a Christmas story.
"It was supposed to be told like a Christmas story, a good Christmas story, basically," she said. "And that's what she wrote, a Christmas story. But she didn't know it had to be true or anything."
Good for Libby Lu. There's a couple of issues at play here. One, the winning at whatever the cost attitude. Second, what she lied about. I could understand enhancing a story to make it more interesting or more emotional. But to completely lie . . . and about a father dying in Iraq . . . that's deplorable. It's disrespectful, pathetic, and reprehensible. What a great message to send to your child. To use that issue to win a contest when there does exist children who have lost their fathers in Irag is about as low as one can get. There's a word for this kind of behavior . . .
Whore.
I do understand those who are concerned with image that Libby Lu is trying to create. Make up and little skirts on little girls? I've read some parents comments calling what they do "pedophile bait". I think that's a bit harsh. As for the image thing, this is one of those areas of responsibility held by the parents.
Recently, Libby Lu sponsored an essay contest for a chance to win a make over and Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana) tickets. A 6 year old from North Texas won the contest with an essay about her father dying in Iraq. It was obviously a moving essay as she beat out about 1,000 other entries to win. One problem, the story was a lie.
GARLAND, Texas - A North Texas mother made up a tragic story about a father dying in Iraq for an essay contest to win a Hannah Montana prize package.
But the company decided not to award Priscilla Ceballos' daughter with the contest's grand prize, Club Libby Lu CEO Mary Drolet said Saturday in a written statement.
"After awarding the grand prize, we unfortunately learned that the statements made in the essay were untrue," she said in the statement. "Club Libby Lu greatly values honestly and integrity. In order to uphold these values, we have decided to withdraw the award initially given to the Ceballos family."
On Friday, Ceballos told NBC 5 by telephone that it was a big misunderstanding. She said she made up the story to win the contest. No one asked her if the story was true, she said.
Her daughter had beat out more than 1,000 other Hannah Montana fans with the essay she wrote for the Club Libby Lu "Hannah Montana Rock Your Holidays Essay Contest."
"My daddy died this year in Iraq," the little girl wrote in the essay. "I am going to give mommy the Angel pendant that daddy put on mommy when she was having me. I had it in my jewelry box since that day. I love my mommy."
Ceballos told contest organizers her husband was killed April 17, 2007, while serving in Iraq.
Research done by NBC 5 revealed that only one U.S. soldier died on April 17 of this year, and it was not Jonathan Menjivar. Neighbors said the girl's father, a carpet cleaner, is alive and is not a soldier.
The mother's sister said the story was intended to be a Christmas story.
"It was supposed to be told like a Christmas story, a good Christmas story, basically," she said. "And that's what she wrote, a Christmas story. But she didn't know it had to be true or anything."
Good for Libby Lu. There's a couple of issues at play here. One, the winning at whatever the cost attitude. Second, what she lied about. I could understand enhancing a story to make it more interesting or more emotional. But to completely lie . . . and about a father dying in Iraq . . . that's deplorable. It's disrespectful, pathetic, and reprehensible. What a great message to send to your child. To use that issue to win a contest when there does exist children who have lost their fathers in Irag is about as low as one can get. There's a word for this kind of behavior . . .
Whore.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Reading is fundamental
Maybe more so than people think. I read to my daughter. I have for as long as she's been able to sit in my lap. She loves it. It SOP at bedtime and it's a great way to just have quiet time . . . as well as a good activity when the weather ain't so good.
I've been noticing something, though. Because of my daughter, I know a lot of other little kids. Some are good. Some are . . . spirited. Lately, when I've talked to other parents I ask about reading. It's easy to do with Harry Potter, Judy Moody and other books that are so popular. It's not an unusual topic to bring up. What I've been finding, though, is that the more . . . spirited the child, the less likely the parent is to be reading to them. Now, I'm sure if you Googled this topic you'd find all kinds of information on this so I'm not claiming to be on to anything, nor am I trying to stereotype parents and their kids. This is simply an observation.
It makes sense, though. First, from young on you teach a child to, if nothing else . . . relax! Sit in one place and be quiet for a little while. Don't get me wrong, I love noisy children. The noisier, the better. I know they're having fun. But, there is a time to calm down and relax. Even if not in the house, when you go out, whether it be to eat or another person's house.
Second, it trains them to pay attention. This is important. Be it for your own communication with your child, or an eventual teacher that will want their attention in school.
Third, it builds vocabulary. This clearly shows itself in kids. Those who are read to or like to read have MUCH better vocabularies than those who don't read or aren't being read to.
Fourth, it aids the imagination. We all know this. It's one thing to see it on TV or in a movie. But it's another to read a book.
An imaginative child knows how to have fun . . . no matter what.
Lastly, I think it helps build the bond between you and your child. After all, it's just you and her/him. Your time. It shouldn't necessarily treated as a "treat", but it should be special.
I like to engage my girlie after we read. If we're reading a chapter book, I'll ask her to bring me up to date on what happened since we last read. As if to be the dumb daddy (go ahead, make your jokes). Other times we'll simply discuss a book once we've finished it. As I'm sure it is with other parents, I'm amazed at my girlie's retention. Not surprisingly, she does well in school.
Like other parenting responsibilities, however, this takes time and a commitment from a parent. While I can be put off by a child's behavior, I rarely blame the child. This is something I feel can go a long way in a child's life. So read, read early, and read often.
I've been noticing something, though. Because of my daughter, I know a lot of other little kids. Some are good. Some are . . . spirited. Lately, when I've talked to other parents I ask about reading. It's easy to do with Harry Potter, Judy Moody and other books that are so popular. It's not an unusual topic to bring up. What I've been finding, though, is that the more . . . spirited the child, the less likely the parent is to be reading to them. Now, I'm sure if you Googled this topic you'd find all kinds of information on this so I'm not claiming to be on to anything, nor am I trying to stereotype parents and their kids. This is simply an observation.
It makes sense, though. First, from young on you teach a child to, if nothing else . . . relax! Sit in one place and be quiet for a little while. Don't get me wrong, I love noisy children. The noisier, the better. I know they're having fun. But, there is a time to calm down and relax. Even if not in the house, when you go out, whether it be to eat or another person's house.
Second, it trains them to pay attention. This is important. Be it for your own communication with your child, or an eventual teacher that will want their attention in school.
Third, it builds vocabulary. This clearly shows itself in kids. Those who are read to or like to read have MUCH better vocabularies than those who don't read or aren't being read to.
Fourth, it aids the imagination. We all know this. It's one thing to see it on TV or in a movie. But it's another to read a book.
An imaginative child knows how to have fun . . . no matter what.
Lastly, I think it helps build the bond between you and your child. After all, it's just you and her/him. Your time. It shouldn't necessarily treated as a "treat", but it should be special.
I like to engage my girlie after we read. If we're reading a chapter book, I'll ask her to bring me up to date on what happened since we last read. As if to be the dumb daddy (go ahead, make your jokes). Other times we'll simply discuss a book once we've finished it. As I'm sure it is with other parents, I'm amazed at my girlie's retention. Not surprisingly, she does well in school.
Like other parenting responsibilities, however, this takes time and a commitment from a parent. While I can be put off by a child's behavior, I rarely blame the child. This is something I feel can go a long way in a child's life. So read, read early, and read often.
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