Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Death

Serious heading, I know. But, it's a serious topic.

I'm sure many of you have had a family member or close friend die. It's sad. It's very sad. First, it's the end of life's journey for that person. That's it. Game over. I think it's made all the worse when someone young dies. We expect people in their 80's and older to die. It's what happens. Old people have lived their life. They've made their contributions. There is no next step other than death. When you're 40 or 50 years old, there's a lot of life left.

At least, there should be.

The other thing about family and friends dying is that it hits close to home. It reminds us of our own mortality. The inevitability of death. I don't mind telling you, it's unsettling.

Which means the only thing worse than death itself, is knowing you're going to die.

A friend of my wife was diagnosed with cancer a couple of years ago. The news was bad enough. It was made worse by the fact that it was an agressive and an already wide spread cancer. It was, in effect, a death sentance.

She fought it. She fought it as hard as anyone could. She also lived as much a she could. Spending time with her family, friends, and doing things she enjoyed. As for many, the cancer slowed. Her treatments allowed her time.

She called my wife the other day to inform her that hospice had been set up for her at home. The end is near. All that can and could be done has been done. The fight is over. Cancer won.

From here on she's to be made "comfortable". I can't imagine what that is.

So, what worse? Going to a funeral or visiting a friend who is dying?

It truly puts everything in to perspective. Of the many things I want to impress upon my daughter is the frailty of life and the finality of death. You get one chance. There's no undo, no rewind, no mulligans, no challenges, no do overs. Live life. Enjoy life. But don't tempt or tease or think you can cheat death.

I've had open heart surgery, an exploratoy biopsy (negative), emergency gall bladder surgery, and a blood clot in both lungs. I certainly know what the scare is about. True, in any of these situations, I could have died. But I wouldn't have known about it for very long . . . if at all. Knowing that there are no more options . . . no more hope . . . just death . . . would be terrifying.

So, this Christmas holiday count your blessings. Spend time with the ones you love, and cherish life. People like to say, "live today as though it were your last". I actually hate that. It has a finality to it. I prefer . . .

live today as though it were your first.

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