Anyone who knows me knows I love award shows. Not because I find much value in them, but the egos and pretentiousness is just a hoot to watch. The MTV Movie Awards has always been my favorite. It's irreverent, funny, and sexy. And with categories like Best Fight, Best Kiss, Best Villain, you can't go wrong.
There's no question the evening is one long plea to see a bunch of crappy movies. OK. I'm sorry. They're not crappy.
They're shit.
OK. Not all of them. But the show isn't the Oscars. Not that THAT matters. But I don't think anyone is fooling anyone else about acting excellence here. Well, except for Megan Fox. And Will Smith. Every time he wins an award he's got some message. Just shut up, thank everyone and get drunk for crying out loud.
A few thoughts:
Not as much cleavage as I would have liked. But lots of leg. Some very short skirts. Everyone had underwear, though. No freebies on this night. Say what you will about Lindsay Lohan, she's got a great pair of legs. She gets that award for the night. The "Why Are You Here? Didn't You Learn Your Lesson Last Year? award goes to Paris Hilton. The "OK, You Made It in Maxim But Now You're Annoying" award goes to Megan Fox. The Sheilds Medieval Clothier was represented by Charlize Theron. Anne Hathaway looked like she unwrapped someone's leather car seat and put it on. Liv Tyler looked like she grabbed someone's parachute and put it on. Ellen Page looked like she just got out of bed.
Coldplay performed. It was great. A great performance and a great song. And I'm not a huge Coldplay fan. It was really good. One of the highlights of the night. The Pussycat Dolls also performed. I liked the song but could a girl group be any more skanky? They're flexible. I'll give 'em that.
While I'm no fan of Adam Sandler, and couldn't think of a lesser person to win an achievement award, his acceptance act and song was funny. Probably the funniest he's been since Happy Gilmore. Even alien entombed Tom Cruise was rather funny.
Mike Meyers was in typical form. He's funny, no doubt. His movies are generally much better than Will Ferrell's or Sandler's. But even he can become too much. His two skits with the lunch wagon hag and the animal trainer were just too long. Get the laugh and get out.
For me, the highlight of the night was the "viral" video skit with Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr. First, what a trio for a movie. Got to hand it to Downey, he's trying to make it clean. Good for him. He's talented. Second, the skit was laugh out loud funny. If it isn't on Youtube already, I'll post it. It's that good.
One joke that didn't get played except for one time, a Javier Bardem younger brother look alike complete with flame thrower who was employed to make haste with anyone who's speech went long. I forget when he did actually come out once. Will Smith could have gotten the push. Megan Fox could have been blasted before reaching the stage. And Paris Hilton could have been blasted in her seat just to make me giggle.
Oh well. What could have been.
The last highlight of the night was the appearance of Johnny Depp . . . in person! The audience went crazy when he appeared. He was dressed amazingly normal and looked good. The bastard must have a painting in an attic somewhere. Sadly, then again, not, he's not much of a conversationalist. Unlike Megan Fox who yelled "Transformers 2 is gonna f*ckin' rock!" when given her MTV moment. Where's that guy with the flame thrower?
So, if you missed it, you missed it. 'Cause, you missed it.
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